Ballad Of Big Nothing: alternatedeleted scenes
by Ariannette
Summary: These are a few scenes that I never used in BOBN.
1. Chapter 1

_Hey guys!_

_Yes, you read the title correctly! I recently got my old laptop back and found that I have a few scenes that I never used in Ballad Of Big Nothing, because I decided to do something different, or simply never added it. I was about to delete them, because I've finished the story completely, but with a nudge from someone, I decided to share it with you guys! They're not edited, and some of the scenes are written in a mix between past and future tense, so it might be a little annoying, and for that I apologize in advance. _

_I also have some art that I never used, but had planned to use for bobn. I will be adding that pretty soon to my lj if you guys are interested in seeing it :)_

_Oh, one last thing...._

_I want to make this clear too. I'm writing a companion piece to Ballad of Big Nothing. I'm not saying when I'll be posting it, and it won't be nearly as long as BOBN, but there will be one. It's not because I want to make some alternate ending, or to please **someone. **It's something I had planned before, and because this character has to tell their story, and he's making me write it!!! lol ;) (Peter speaks to me Sam!)_

_So, if you're ready....click next to start reading the alternate scenes!!!! _

_BTW all you readers rock ;)_


	2. Heidi and Claire Go to Peter's Apartment

**_This is the scene where Heidi and Claire go to Peter's apartment after buying groceries. It was originally supposed to be this, but I changed it a little- there wasn't much of a change though._**

* * *

To say that Claire is nervous, is the least. Her palms are sweaty and her throat is dry, because seeing Peter again for some reason excites her more than seeing the rest of the bio family. As the limo pulls up, she takes note that he still lives in the same building and her ease rests a little, because at least some things haven't changed.

She opens the door to get out, but Heidi tentatively puts her hand on Claire's arm, "Let me talk to him first when we get there ok?"

Though she doesn't understand and quite frankly is getting annoyed with all the secrets, Claire nods, and continues to get out of the car. She helps Heidi with the grocery bags as they walk into the building and frowns, wondering why they're bringing Peter groceries. Is he incapable of going to the store himself? Can he not walk?

They get to his door, and Heidi knock but there's no answer. "Peter it's me…Heidi"

There's no answer, and Claire starts wondering if she's ever going to see Peter, and get the truth out of everyone. They both wait a few more seconds, but Heidi sighs and takes out (to Claire's surprise) a key and opens the door.

Its as she remembers it from before, for the exception that there's things scattered on the floor, ashtrays wherever possible, and thousands of cigarettes in them. Newspapers are scattered on the floor along with clothes and bottles of Vitamin Water. Claire shudders at seeing his apartment such a mess, its nothing that screams Peter, and it's all quite alien to him actually.

Heidi makes her way over and opens the refrigerator, which clears Claire's confusion to why they went grocery shopping.

It's empty.

She frowns and Heidi seems to know what's coming because she immediately responds, "I don't think I'm the appropriate person to tell you Claire."

Claire puts the bag she's holding on the counter and turns towards the living room, which seems to be in the exact same condition as the kitchen. She finds a crumpled picture of her on the floor and her heart stops. What does it imply? The rest of his family pictures are fine and in frames, why is hers on the floor and crumpled into a ball?

Her nose momentarily flares, but she keeps it in her hand as she starts walking into his bedroom where his bed is unmade and the pillows are on the floor. An inexplicable emotion fills her and her breathing is shallow. There's so much chaos and destruction in his apartment, and for the life of her she can't figure out why. It angers her, because she's still in the dark and no one wants to tell her anything.

It's Peter, her uncle, and she doesn't see why Heidi can't at least clue her into what's going on in his world. She knows its obviously not something good, because by the condition that his apartment's in, that's obvious. But they know how much he means to her, and yet they seem to fling that aside, protecting her as if she's made of glass and not able to take what it all may mean. Trying to shield her from the truth, and this.

"Claire he's not here", Heidi's right behind her, but Claire doesn't turn to look at her, simply keeps examining his room, wondering what in the world has happened in those four years. What surprises her is that Heidi doesn't seem taken with any of the mess in the apartment, and knows that the possibility of this being 'normal' is quickly starting to become real.

"What's going on?" she whispers more to herself than to Heidi, because she knows that she wont get an answer from her.

She turns to Heidi who's struggling with her words, because she doesn't want to tell her what's going on, doesn't want to let her in on their dirty well kept secret. Because that's what really seems to be the issue here, Peter's that well kept Petrelli secret that's been brushed under the carpet from the media.


	3. Reunion

**_In this scene, it starts off the same as, somewhere in the middle of chapter three of BoBN, but then it changes. Instead of waiting for peter to come to the party that they're having a the petrelli's like i have it in BoBN, Claire goes to his apartment instead. It's there that she sees him again for the first time in four/five years. _**

**_BTW, did i ever tell you guys that BOBN's original title, was "Fall From Grace"?? lol glad i changed it._**

* * *

A week passes and she's in the Petrelli mansion playing Nintendo Wii with the Monty. She still hasn't seen Peter, and has gone to his apartment everyday hoping to find him. Maybe he's left, gone, fled? That's all she can think of being the reason of him not even showing up at the mansion.

She looks to Monty, who's very into the game at hand, and wonders if he knows about Peter. Maybe the boy knows the secrets that are going on with their uncle, "Monty…do you know where Peter is?"

For a moment he doesn't take his eyes off the game, but continues to look at it with intensity, "Not allowed t talk about it"

Claire drops the controller on the floor with a thud and frowns at Monty, "Why not?" Are they all in on it? Is it some fun sick joke that they insist on playing on her?

He pauses the game and looks over to her with a weird expression, he's smiling, but raises his eyebrows at the same time, but ends his thought with a sad smile. It's the same sad smile she has that seems to run in the family, "You'll see why when you see him"

And with that said, Monty's attention is back on the TV screen as he races past her car and wins the race. Claire is oblivious to that though, and realizes that, what he's just told her might be the first to clue to this whole big mystery she's trying to solve.

Again she's been defeated and silenced into oblivion. Claire can't think of anything to say or do to make them tell her anymore, and Peter's still MIA. It's all frustrating and makes her angry that she has to sigh to remain clam in front of Monty. It's not his fault, and she doesn't think it fair to lash out on him.

So she stands instead and makes her way over to Nathan's office, determined to spill out what she's feeling to him, to let him know that this is not ok, that she _has _to know what the hell is going on…with everything.

Yet when she reaches his door and notices that he's on the phone and his chair is turned around, she pauses. She might be many things, but she's not going to interrupt a phone call, and be rude.

But when he says Peter's name, is when her breath stops and she starts listening intently.

"Pete, she's going to find out sooner or later, you have to face her"

So he knows she's alive, knows but still has the nerve to meet her face to face, not to embrace her in his arms that she misses and wants to see. Knows that she's been alive for maybe longer than a week, but he's in on it too, he's in on not wanting her to see him. Does he hate her? And she's back to square one.

"Well I don't know what you want me to tell you Peter? What do you want me to tell her? That you don't want to see her? You know she's not going to content until she sees you"

He pauses and she can hear him sigh, "This is why you're in this pro-"

She hears the phone click and he swivels his chair around to face her. She wants to run but her feet have her stuck to the marble floor beneath her, and she's unable to move. Nathan studies her with a scrutinizing expression, and his mouth opens, but all it does is croak for a few seconds.

"So he doesn't want to see me either?" tears were far from happening before, but know they're filling those green eyes with a threatening glossy field to them, and she's unable to figure out where the sudden sadness she's filled with came from.

It was just moments ago that she felt anger and aggression towards her family, and now she's filled with vulnerability and hurt. More accurately pointed towards Peter, who seems to be taking any means necessary to ensure them both from coming face to face, or at least it seems that way.

"Claire-"

"Why Nathan? Why is he being like this?" her voice cracks and the barrier is broken only opening to release her pent up emotions that she'd been holding in from everyone who had been denying her.

"All I want is to see him! Say hello, how are you?"

Nathan stands up and takes her into a hug, they stay like that for a while and she sobs willing into his dress shirt, unaware that her mascara is staining his shirt, "Claire, just give it time. He's just-overwhelmed with work right now"

A sniffle escapes her and she looks up to her dad feeling-_dare she think it_- comforted by him, "Really?"

He pats her hair, and smiles, "Yes, but I tell you what. He's at his apartment right now, if you catch him, you might be able to see him"

She looks up at him with her big emerald eyes that while they aren't the same color as his, seem to mirror the passion and love filled within them. It's little things like that, that clue in to others that they're daughter and father.

But she doesn't have to be told twice to go, because before she realizes it she's out the door without a sweater and dragging down a cab as frantically as she can. Her khaki sweater is mismatched with her black skinny jeans and baby doll shirt, but that's the last thing on her mind at the moment. It doesn't seem to matter that all she has on her is cash and no purse or wallet, she just needs to get there.

Before she knows it she's half way across the city back in front of his apartment building, wondering where all her sudden adrenaline has come from. The air outside is cold, and knows as she walks into his apartment building that her cheeks are probably pink from the fresh air, but it's not important either.

She reaches his door in record time and realizes she's panting and pauses to catch her breath before she knocks on the door. The last thing she wants is for Peter to see her panting, knowing that she's basically ran from the mansion to get to him, to be able to see him. It's pretty lame when she thinks about it.

Claire finally catches her breath and her hand nervously knocks on the door. For a moment she doesn't hear anything, but the buzzing noise coming from what she thinks is a TV, but then she hears it. The soft footsteps of someone coming towards the door, and then they're there. She can feel him looking at her through the peephole and hopes to god that he doesn't see her flared nose trying to control her somewhat heavy breathing.

For a while they both stay like that, silent and staring at each other through the different side of the door. Claire can't help at wonder why he's doing this, why its so hard for him to open the door, and wonders what is so bad that he can't bring himself to see her face to face. All she wants is to see him, hug him, be held by him, because he's her hero, he'll always be that.

And just when all her hope is lost and she's ready to turn and run again, ready to flee and take that step to leave again and maybe leave him, she hears it. And it's wondrous to her how the simple clicking of a lock can bring such joy to her tattered heart. Her heart starts beating fast again, because she's finally going to see him, her hero, her uncle, her Peter.

A smile spreads through her face and when he starts opening the door her feet involuntarily take her forward, awaiting to see him. Except it all goes wrong from there. Because the person before her can't possibly be the Peter she knew years ago. The person in front of her is alien and doesn't resemble anything of which she knew, for the exception of the bangs.

No, the person before her is a skinnier form of him, with a pale drained face and raccoon eyes. His expression is stoic and mournful, and he's not Peter. It isn't who she's been impatiently waiting to see, and part of her wants to shut the door again and start over hoping to catch a different Peter. Because the person in front of her is completely indifferent to her presence and almost zombie like. It's almost as if he's not really there

But this is life and she doesn't get a second go at things like that, so she swallows her surprise and manages to form a tensed greeting, "Hi"

It comes out softer than intended and barely audible, but he doesn't seem to catch her strangled greeting and she can tell that he's trying really hard to smile. That it's killing him in a way, but manages to bring his right cheek up lazily and give her the much missed sloppy-crooked grin that she's missed.

For a second it seems like its his old self, and Claire can't help herself. She throws her arms around his thin body and embraces him as she sobs into him, thinking to herself that she's never been that emotional in one day in a long time. Its funny how ignorant you can be when your memory has been completely removed, but she'd pick misery over that ignorance any day, because it means remembering Peter.

His hands guide themselves around her as well, and she shakes off the thought that she can almost feel his rib bones and tries to soak him in. Tries to be content with the fact that at least he's not dead, but alive, even if he's in a sickly condition. That doesn't matter, all that matters is that she remembers him, and he seems happy to see her.

But after what seems like minutes to her, she can feel that he wants to pull away, wants to be free from her, yet she's not sure she's ready to let go. Doesn't know what will happen if she does, she doesn't want him to leave her, and doesn't want to leave him, and hadn't realized until this very moment how very important her uncle is to her.

Yet, they separate and she just looks at him, trying to find the right words, trying not to say the wrong thing, but a sudden rage fills her, and she punches his arm. He stumbles and balances himself against the frame door giving her a reproachful look, "What was that for?"

He nurses the spot on his arm that was injured by her, and she rolls her eyes, "I didn't even hit you that hard"

It seems like its back to the old times again, and that maybe the awkwardness has passed, but the sour reality at hand is brought back by him and she almost hates him for it, "It still hurt"

She bites her lower lip, and tears fill her eyes, and wonders when she started becoming a complete basket case, "Why didn't you want to see me?"

His zombie like hand goes through his hair in an ever slow way and he shrugs, not looking at her. He's still standing against the door frame and she takes note of how hollowed out his cheeks look and how empty his eyes are. There's almost something sinister about him, and it's bitter, and sick. His eyes momentarily wander to her own and he softly mumbles, "I did want to see you"

Claire isn't ready to be defeated this time though and she crosses her arms, challenging him, because two can play at this game and she's not about to let him win, "That's not what I heard on the phone when you were speaking to Nathan"

It's like she's finally hit the switch in him, and he looks up at her, with what must be his petrified face now, although its still in complete detachment, "You were listening to our conversation?"

She ignores his question and breathes, "What's wrong with you?"

His fingers trail his neck and he scratches it ever so slowly. It almost kills her how snail like his body movement and responses are. She wants to shake him and get a fast reaction out of him, not have to wait like an idiot for him to say something back. Yet she doesn't, maybe because she doesn't want to touch him, because he's all clammy and cold, and nothing similar to the warmness he use to be.

The vacant look in his eyes turn to her and he stands suddenly maybe a little more sure of himself, "The flu".

That's is when she wants to laugh, but she doesn't. but she does let a pent up sigh out, and smiles at him. She waits for one back, but it doesn't happen, and instead he just moves his eyesight elsewhere to keep what's within him shielded from her. But his blinks are slow and it irritates the hell out of Claire, she wants to momentarily scowl, and almost does, is it not that Peter looks back up at her, "You should go"

It's honestly not even close to what she was expecting him to say and her mouth croaks open, and she frowns. She somehow forgets how to ask questions or form sentences because he has left her in awe. He pulls himself up from standing against the door frame and mumbles something incoherent.

"Why do you want me to leave?" it's her that's talking slowly now, but it's only because she's so shocked by his unnatural behavior.

Peter shrugs and plays lazily with the loophole on his loose jeans, obviously trying to avoid her face. And its good because she knows that she might slap it then, because he makes no sense. Again he mumbles something about not wanting her to get sick and quickly gives her a strained smile before turning around and shutting the door behind him.

She has the thought to knock on the door and demand him to be normal and to let her in, but something stops her and she too turns around and starts walking away rather bewildered by the whole situation. Claire thinks its kind of sweet that he doesn't want her to catch the flu too, at least its some small sign that he still cares about her well being.

But it isn't until she's gotten in the cab and is looking at the pedestrians as they walk down the sidewalk on the streets that it hits her, She can't get sick, and neither can he.


	4. Peter Stays for dinner

**_Do you guys remember, the night after the party, when peter stopped by the mansion the next day? And they went out to eat? This is what I had originally written to happen. I think I like what I rewrote better, it didn't give Peter's addiction away, instead it made you guys curious. This scene is pretty straight forward about it. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

It's a Monday and no one's home to Claire's dismay. She's actually gotten use to being around the whole family, and while she fills out her transfer papers and sips her orange juice there's a knock on the door. Normally she knows that their butler would get it, because lets be truthful, that's what he's for, but on this very day he's seems to have gone out with Heidi to go grocery shopping.

So Claire pushes herself up from the couch and walks over to the two mirroring glass doors to see Peter standing on the other side of one, lazily smoking a cigarette. It's hot outside but he still has on a leather jacket, fitted-boot cut jeans, a black v neck t-shirt, and black slip on vans. His gaze is out on the street somewhere following something that she's not sure about. There's something strikingly calm about him now, or maybe just its just impassiveness, she's not really sure.

Her hand rests on the lock and she turns it, letting it make that click noise that makes Peter turn his head back to the door as he's bringing his cigarette to his lips. When he sees her, he only pauses momentarily before it reaches his lips and he sucks on it, and releases the smoke slowly, "Why's the door locked?" he half asks/half mumbles it.

Claire opens the door the whole way to let him in, but he just stays where he is, maybe too afraid of really coming in, or because he wants to finish his cigarette outside. Whatever the case is, he stays put, awaiting an answer.

"Nice to see you too", she retorts raising her eyebrow up. She's upset, and she knows he knows, but it doesn't seem to phase him. He's looking at her, straight in her face, yet she feels like he's not at the same time. Because while his eyes are on her, _he_ isn't, he's just not there.

"Your hair is dark", he comments while taking another puff from his cigarette, completely nonchalant to her. When his hand reached out to touch it, she had the instinct to pull back, and almost did, but something in his eyes told her to stop, and so she did. His fingers grazed over a strand of her hair, and his thumb and forefinger caressed it.

There was a tiny smirk on his lips and he looked to her for a second, their eyes lingering on one another. His lips spread a little more, and it was then that he had his old smile back, the one that spread warmness throughout her, the one that really belonged to him. Peter stepped closer and their distance was very close then, "I missed you a lot Claire."

It shouldn't, but when he says it then, it makes up for how he acted like a jerk before and didn't want to see her. And all the questions that she has about him faking the flu and trying to avoid her seem to evaporate as he says that, because he's Peter and whatever he says is ok. So he follows her inside and they walk to the living room, and things slowly seem to be getting normal.

She doesn't feel that awkward around him anymore. Its weird how a few minutes of him caressing her hair can suddenly kill the tenseness that she's feeling. They both sit down and for a few moments Claire looks at her nails, thinking that she really should get a manicure and call Andy. her _boyfriend. _she's been at the Petrelli mansion for almost two weeks and really hasn't' spoken to him, hasn't told him how her reunion with her bio family went.

Peter softly clears his throat and brings her back from her thoughts, and she looks to him, and sees that he's looking at her, _really_ looking at her now. In that way that only he can, where he knows what she's feeling and just knows _her. _it sounds silly but it's the truth, Peter's the only one that can ever just look at her and read her like an open book.

He sighs and looks down for a moment biting his lip, gathering his thoughts, but looks back up at her frowning a little, "Are you happy?"

It's Claire's turn frown, because she really doesn't understand the question. It shouldn't be that hard because it sounds simple really, but it's everything but that, she can't even begin to break it down. In what sense is he talking about? Life? Family? School? Her social life? The question's too generic, and she's not sure she really likes it.

"What do you mean? Like school? Ho-"

"No. I mean-are you just-happy? In general?" she's afraid his eyes are starting to get the blank look to them again, and feels her stomach drop. What type of question is that? How can she answer it so easily? Happiness isn't that simple…or is it? She really doesn't have anything putting her down, except her pending status with him, which seems to be repaired now. So in a sense she decides that yes, she is happy.

Claire guesses he sees it because he lets out a small scoff and looks down, "I'm happy for you."

It really shouldn't be this difficult for her to understand, yet she's feeling that he's just feeding her a cryptic subliminal message, and also can't ignore the fact that misery is written all over him. There's something unsettling about his whole demeanor, the way he carries himself-its all different. She bats her eyes and wonders why she hadn't' seen it before, its so obvious that she feels sort of guilty on not picking up on it earlier.

"Are yo-" she's about to ask if he himself is happy, but completely interrupts her, "I've known you were alive for a while now."

Her mouth drops and her tongue flicks the top of her mouth in fury, and confusion. Why hadn't he looked for her? She has more questions surging through her but that one seems to stick out the most, his decision to not look for her while knowing she was clearly alive.

If Peter could rip his lip off with biting it, he would have by now, is what Claire thinks. Because that's all he's doing, is looking down and biting his lip profusely, maybe from nerves or what not, Claire's not really sure. What she is sure about though, is that there's much more to him, and her and everyone involved in their world that he's letting her on to. At least she hopes that's it because for the love of god she can't figure out why he wouldn't have gone to look for her, it really bothers her.

She lets out a tensed breath and frowns, "Well why didn't-"

"Why didn't I go look for you? Find you? Make you remember?" he questions her.

She nods her head and waits but he just keeps biting his lip and looking down. Its really starting to bug her, because it makes her want to bite her lip for some reason, and she doesn't want to.

After a while he sighs and scrunches his face while scratching the back of his head, "It's complicated."

For the first time that day she really doesn't like him, because he-like everyone else, is treating her like a child again. She knows she shouldn't look at it that way because maybe he's just saying it to protect her, besides that's what he's always done, isn't it?

"Well _un-_complicate it!"

He lets a couple dry laughs out and turns his head back down again, clearly trying to avoid her eyes, "Its not that simple."

His eyes follow the pattern on the rug and refuses to look back up. He seems fixated by the French designer rug and follows his eyes as he explores it with such intensity. Peter's eyes droop a little and close, and again she's reminded of how sickly he looks. She's scared that he might very well pass out right then, but after a few seconds his eyes look upwards to hers and he smiles tiredly about to say something. But its then that Simon and Monty come running in and fling themselves at Peter.

They ask him where he's been and why he never comes around that often, and she realizes she has the same question. Soon Heidi follows them in, with a strained expression that only seems to get stronger one she spots Peter. Claire looks up at her and wonders why her stepmother doesn't seem thrilled to have Peter there, instead she smiles at him awkwardly and he returns that same smile.

He gets up, to leave no doubt and Claire knows that there's something else going on that she's not aware of. The Petrelli's have mountains of secrets that she'll never be told, but when it comes to Peter she doesn't know why but she feels like she's more than entitled to be told what's going on.

"I should go-" he struggles to get out.

"No!" Blurts Claire, surprising even herself, and the others look at her strangely. She swallows and adds quickly, "Stay for dinner."

Peter looks to Heidi again, as if awaiting her ok. She doesn't say anything to him though, just stares tensely, knowing that she has the last say in this whole conversation. He smiles at Claire attentively and shakes his head, "Maybe another time, ok?"

Its when he starts walking that Heidi reacts and puts her hand on his arm, "Claire's right Peter…stay-for dinner."

There's a looming silence that fills up the room, and not even the boys are making noise then. They're all waiting, waiting to see if he'll stay because it's a huge decision, and Peter's words are rare nowadays. He's rare, whatever that means she's not really sure, but knows that whatever time he spends with the family _is _rare.

Heidi lets go of his arm as if it's stung her or maybe because she's just realized that she was touching him. Either way Claire finds herself not too thrilled about that, and wonders why it bothers her that Heidi is touching him, and that they're sharing that intimate look, a private look.

He nods and smiles shyly, "Ok."

Both boys cheer, but stop when Heidi tells them to go to their rooms to get ready for dinner. After they're gone, they're quiet again but when Heidi excuses herself to go check and see what the cook is making, they're alone again and it's sort of nice. Claire enjoys it when its just the two of them really, it gives her some sort of nostalgic feeling.

Claire remembers the conversation they were having before Heidi arrived with the kids, and shoots her eyes towards Peter's slumped body, "So what's not that simple?"

Whatever it is, she knows she'll understand. Claire's gone through a lot in the last five years, ever since she found out about what she can do, and about the others like her. Ever since Peter saved her, she's had to deal with complicated things that aren't simple, and knows that whatever Peter is hiding from her, and doesn't want to tell her, she'll understand.

Something starts moving in her back pocket and realizes her cell phone is going off, which is really untimely considering Peter had just opened his mouth to respond back. Claire puts up her finger to silence him, and grimaces pointing towards the phone. It's Andy, and yeah she can't help at let butterflies roam her stomach momentarily, she's completely smitten with him.

Peter nods understanding and she turns around to answer. He tells her about his new roommate in college, and how he wishes she was there, and she giggles because he uses his pet name for her and she's slightly embarrassed that Peter will hear. After all he is her uncle, and finds it weird talking to her boyfriend while he's in the same room. She turns to tell him that she'll be right back, but he's already gone. She frowns, but shrugs thinking it was a nice gesture.

Before Claire realizes, a few minutes turn into an hour and a half and she can start smelling the food that the cook's made, and feel her stomach lurch. She hangs up with Andy and heads to the dining room, where Heidi, the boys, and Nathan are already waiting, but there's no Peter.

She sits down in one of the only two empty chairs left and smiles, "Where's Peter?"

Nathan pauses from eating his salad and looks up rather shocked, "_he_'s here?"

The boys both nod in unison and Heidi answers, "he's in the bathroom"

Claire's about to take a sip of her water when she hears Nathan drop his fork and stand up, "I'll go get him then". It scares her, because she's never seen rage in Nathan's face as in that moment. It's strange, because what's so bad about using the restroom before eating?

She shakes it off though, and Nathan sits back down when he sees Peter come into the dining room, and watches as he takes a seat next to Claire. They're all quiet and Peter has his head down as if he knows he's in trouble for some unbeknown reason to Claire.

Claire watched as he swallowed and mumbled hello to Nathan, who just vaguely said hello back. At the other end of the table though, Heidi's face was quite opposite to Nathan's, and more of a sympathetic one.

Simon broke the silence by announcing that he has a new girlfriend and that it's getting serious, really serious in fact. It breaks a smile around the table and Claire looks over to see that even Peter has one forming on the corners of his lips. He notices her looking at him she supposes, because he turns and she finally sees his face.

His eyes are glossy, and face a little pale but his nose is red, and her heart breaks because she doesn't want to imagine Peter crying. Doesn't know why he'd cry, and really _hopes _he wasn't. But he still smiles and looks back down at his plate. He moves his food around but doesn't really eat it, just stares at it, maybe contemplating whether or not its good to eat.

It seems that Claire isn't the only one that's noticed he hasn't really touched his food because Nathan sighs and puts his fork down, "Why aren't you eating Pete?". What's most surprising to her is that he doesn't say it with care laced in his words, its more annoyance than anything else.

Peter stops moving his food, and Claire sees that he closes his eyes for a few seconds, he's completely still. It's kind of scary, because he really looks like he's falling asleep, and doesn't like to think of her uncle being that exhausted. But he opens his eyes a few moments later and looks to Nathan before looking back down at his plate and smiling shyly, "I'm not that hungry"

The rage on Nathan's face only grows. Claire's never been scared of Nathan before, has never had a reason to be. But now-seeing him like that has changed what she feels, because it really looks like he might hurt Peter.

Its obvious that Peter senses Nathan's fury at him because he puts down his fork carefully, and his eyes roam the room uncomfortably, "I should go"

From the other side of the table Nathan nods and smiles scoffing, "Yeah maybe you should y-"

"Nathan." hisses Heidi showing her protruding dimples on her cheeks, something that Claire is envious of and wishes she had herself.

Peter turns one last time to look at Claire and smiles before he gets up and exit's the room. She has the thought of running after him, stopping him, but doesn't. She stays glued to her seat and fork in hand, trying to understand what just happened. As far as she knows Peter and Nathan have always gotten along, so it's all rather bizarre. Its weird to see that type of hostility between them, or rather Nathan towards Peter.

With the drop of her fork and the clenching of her fists on the table, Claire stands up and stares at Nathan with determination, "What the _hell_ is going on?"

Heidi excuses the boys and tells them something about this being a grown up matter, and they instantly leave, because isn't Nintendo Wii better anyway? And come on anything to do with a 'grown up' matter, certainly doesn't draw their attention

When they're sure that the boys have left and that it's just the three of them at the table, Claire sits back down and waits for some type of explanation that'll help her understand what's going on these days with Peter and the Petrelli family.

"I don't want to talk about this right now Claire"

Claire scoffs and crosses her arm, "stop bullshitting me Nathan! All you guys ever want to do is not talk about it, when I don't even know what it is! I want to know what is going on here"

Nathan stood up, quite abruptly and both Claire and Heidi flinched as they heard his silverware hit the table with a loud clank.


	5. Peter's a drug addicted Jackass

**_hmmm...._**

**_how do I explain this one? Honestly I don't remember what part it was supposed to be fore. I think it was part of a scene that I planned to write, but never did. So it technically doesn't belong to any specific chapter. It's just Peter being a jackass, and hurting Claire._**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

He rubbed his nose as he closed the door slowly behind himself, and noticed her standing there. If he was scared or shocked he didn't express it, didn't show it, only let his eyes flicker to hers for a few minutes and swallowed before opening his mouth, "The-"

Claire crossed her arms, and frowned a little too much, but it didn't really matter then. She nodded her head at him and heard herself scoff, "The flu, right?"

Peter's eyes were glossy again, and his blinks were slow, so it was really obvious to Claire. Actually it should have been obvious to anyone there that he was completely trashed yet again. What was worse was that he didn't seem to care that she knew, or that he was too easy to read. Yet, through all of this, he nodded lazily to her and squeezed his thin body past her, knowing all she wanted was a confrontation.

Her hand finds its way to his arm and grips it, as sickly and thin as it may be. Her breathing is shallow, and she's doing everything in her power not to break because she doesn't want to do that in front of someone who wont care, someone who's lost touch with reality completely. Her lip quivers and she waits until he's finally looking at her, "What happened to you?"

If he cares, he doesn't show it, if it's upset him, there's no anger on his face. He just stares at her blankly, or maybe with detached indifference, "Its just the flu Claire"

He gives her a half unmoved smile and pulls his arm away from her grasp walking into the darkness of the Petrelli garden. She feels herself wanting to growl, and almost does, if it isn't for the arms that suddenly wrap themselves around her waist. A smile creeps on her face and she blinks back her tears because Andy's warmth is the cure to the pain that Peter causes her.

"How's he doing?" he whispers into her ear, making sure to trail a kiss right beneath her ear, just where he knows it makes her shiver. She bites her lip and turns around letting him see the tears fall through her eyes and down her cheeks. He cups her face and kisses her, "Oh baby don't cry"

Claire starts to sob right then and Andy takes her into his arms, kissing her forehead and letting her cry into his chest. She hates that she's this weak and emotional, but Peter always brings it out in her, and It just hurts her to see him like that. To see him killing himself little by little and refusing her help. Because they both know she's the only person who can bring him back completely from the hell he's created is her.


	6. Jazz music and and caresses

**_Ok, _**

**_this scene, I'm a bit disappointed I wasn't able to use. But the way I wrote the chapter that it was going to be in, didn't end up having to have this in it, so it sucks. Because I sorta thought the interaction between Peter and Claire was touching. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

He curses and grits his teeth around the belt fighting the sting that comes from the needle. He's never really gotten use to the needle hurting him, but it's the toll he pays for the sweet sensation that rides through his veins and keeps him in that blissful state for a few seconds. His head hit's the wall as it rolls to the side, and he closes his eyes taking it in.

The jazz music is still blasting from living room where everyone is, and he knows he should care, knows that Claire is probably waiting for him, to come out, but honestly he doesn't. he's well past caring now, all that really matters is that he stay comfortable with all the prying eyes, all the questions and whispers through the room. People talk, they're suspicious, but it doesn't really matter to him. He laughs because if Claire's opinion doesn't matter anymore, than he's pretty damn sure no one else's does either.

But nostalgia hits him, and he swallows back remembering that night he thought he lost her. He remembers the feeling of having lost her, remembers why he began doing this and looks onto his Ziploc bag that has some stuff left in it.

His hand lets the belt loose and he tries to sit himself up again from the slouched position he's in. the thought of taking the rest of it is against his better judgment, but then again, everything he does is. So he takes the bag with his shaking hand and goes to open it, but a nock on the door makes him drop it and he closes his eyes, "yeah?"

It's a whisper more than anything, and its weak, but it's all that he can mutter out of himself at the moment. He decides it might be best to put everything away and open the door. He stands up and looks in the mirror, holding his gaze, he doesn't really see himself anymore. Peter's not sure who he sees, maybe nothing, just a vast empty space that's grown with in him, with every single thing that he ingests.

"Peter it's me…open the door", it's Claire's sweet hypnotic voice from the other side of the door. He looks around to make sure that all the paraphernalia is gone and unlocks the door while standing against the vanity and supporting himself. She closes the door behind her and stands against him and looks up to him. For a moment It reminds him of a similar position they were in four years ago. Him leaning towards her telling her it would be ok.

That was back when he was her savior and said things like that happened all the time. Like washing your hair or eating breakfast, things were simple back then, even when they felt they weren't. because really looking back all he remembers was how he was filled and not hollow and it was a happy filling, something that he remembered and liked. He liked being there for Claire, and seeing that sweet little sad smile she had given him for the first time back in the hallway of Union Wells high school.

But that's alien to him now, and as he looks to the floor with his dilated glossy eyes, he feels Claire's hand go on his chin and her touch is warm. Her warm fingers are a contrast to his chilly temperature, and he tries to take what little heat penetrates through her fingers to his skin, hoping that maybe a little of her ability can pass through too, and make the empty scariness go away.

"Look at me Peter." for some reason that makes him think back to when they were in the car years ago, trying to escape the city. The look of faith in her eyes was pouring out then, and all he had to give her were his full of protection. He doesn't want to let her see his now, for a moment he truly feels shy.

But he can't control it, not now- not ever, she pulls his attention, and his eyes turn towards her meeting hers. There's a soft sigh she lets out, but he's surprised she doesn't look upset. Instead she caresses his cheek and smiles, "are you ok?"

What is ok? Is it being happy when you score enough to last you a few days so that you're not trembling at work and worrying about feeling sick when you go to try and eat dinner at Nathan's house? Does being ok mean that you're managing to get by without it really messing yourself up anymore? Because if that's what ok means then yeah he thinks he's ok right then. So he nods and hopes she doesn't feel him tremble under her hold, "I'm fine."

His body seems to be making him a liar though, because he can't seem to keep his eyes open now for more than a few seconds at a time, and knows he's getting weak. In some way she senses it when she moves him towards the toilet so he can sit down on it. A thank you wants to make it's way through his lips, but he can't do it, some type of nausea is coming to him, and he's afraid that if he opens his mouth he might very well throw up.

And for some reason the thought makes him want to start crying at the same point, and maybe if he had something left inside him, he'd do it, but he doesn't. it's like he doesn't have any tears left to cry, any frowns or smiles left to share, and all he can do is try and maintain what he has, because that's all that's left of him. Instead of giving her a smile he scoffs and tries to at least smirk, "It's just the flu.."

Outside the music is loud and they can hear people laughing and having a goodtime, but that's not the case for Peter. In all honesty he doesn't even want to go and mingle with anyone, and doesn't miss the days when he was the social bunny running around and greeting everyone, making sure that they're well attended to. He's not any of that anymore, but the secret that his family tries to keep hidden. Sometimes he thinks it hurts him, but he realizes its not hurt, or any emotional feeling but him coming down.

There's a grumble that can't come from anywhere other than his stomach, but he tries to play it off like it was just the creaking of his bone, or the cracking of something, anything but his stomach. Because his stomach is empty and yearns to be filled, it's void and doesn't like it. He doesn't care about it though, because the rest of his body seems to think eating would be a very bad idea, especially with the nausea trailing close behind him, and breathing on his neck.

None of it matters to Claire though, it's just something else she wants to fix and make better. His body is a world full of wounds, cuts and bruises that she can only mend in time. When? He's not sure he knows when she'll heal him, doesn't really want her to heal him because would mean defeat and putting her in danger to him again. The last droplets of feeling and conscience he has left in him know that everything he has done is for her, and it doesn't matter what he becomes, as long as it keeps her safe. Because the thought of loosing her all over again, is like withdrawing from drugs and he doesn't want to find out what that feels like again.

"Peter when was the last time you ate?" she puts a strand of his hair behind his ear and examines him in full. He hasn't eaten in a few days really, for the exception of half a piece of toast the day before. It's not that he does it intentionally, Peter never means to starve himself, it just happens. Besides, he's never been much of an eater anyway.

Andy's voice is close, they both hear him call for her and she sighs, looking back down at him with sorry eyes of her own. He wants to tell her that she shouldn't be sorry about anything, that he's fine. She's just his niece and he's a grown twenty-eight year old that's more than capable of taking care of himself.

He can't help it so his eyes close again for a few seconds. For some reason he's overcome with sleepiness and wants nothing more than to be lying in his bed sleeping the night away, instead of being at some political party that he's pretty sure Nathan doesn't want him at either. There's no liquid in his voice and he swallows because its unnaturally dry, "Go."

"No, you and me are going to go eat", Claire's hand intertwines into his, and she squeezes it, but he's hesitant about being led to the dining area. There's people there who stare and while they have smiles plastered on their faces, he knows they're all fake. Because what they're truly thinking is how Nathan Petrelli's baby brother has become a druggie.

A shadow appears under the door, and whoever is behind the door tries to open the door, "Claire?"

It's Andy again, because there's no mistake in that slight southern tinge in his voice. Peter notices the corner's of Claire mouth twitch, and her cheeks turn pink slightly but she doesn't answer, and the little smirk goes away when her eyes meet his again. She raises her finger to her mouth and motions for Peter to be quiet, and giggles like a little girl, playing hide and seek.

He wants to smirk, but that's when it hits him, and his stomach acid-because that's all that's in his stomach, makes it's way up his throat and into his mouth. Before he knows it, his head is over the toilet bowl, and he throws up. It's embarrassing to say the least, because Claire's there, but there's nothing he can do to stop it.

What he does feel though, are Claire's fingers behind him, caressing his back, as he continues to retch into the toilet. The delicateness of her fingers find their way to his hair and she runs her hand through it, soothing him.


	7. Black Raybans

**_Here, Peter comes back after being MIA for a while, and finds Claire in his apartment. He's a jackass again (probably why I didn't use it to begin with.)_**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

The door knob turned, and in he came, black Ray Bans, simple black v neck t-shirt, and pale as always. There was a silent difference in the room as soon as he closed the door behind him that Claire couldn't quite pinpoint. But it was if he'd brought the dark with him, and it penetrated through out the apartment with his own down mood. If he'd still had his powers it might have been that, but it wasn't.

Her fallen hero stepped forward finally noticing her, and he put down his glasses slightly to acknowledge her. Peter sent a nod to her and walked past her not saying anything, instead going into his bedroom and dropping his sunglasses on his bed and taking his shoes off clumsily.

Claire took a deep breath and stood up from the couch following him. She'd have to confront him, no matter how uncomfortable it could turn. It was bound to be hard to talk to, his career wasn't something she often butted into, unless there was something she desperately needed him to get her, like tickets to the Marc Jacobs show, during fashion week.

He sat down on the side of the bed and pulled off his shirt to reveal his thin yet lean body and mumbled to Claire, "Why are you here?"

Suddenly her arms had become very heavy and her throat dry, and she had to remind herself why she was there. She closed her eyes and took another silent breath clearing her throat, trying to gain some confidence, "Where have you been the last few days?"

The laugh that he let out reminded Claire of the way her father had snickered when she had told him she was going to be a lawyer, or how Angela had laughed when Claire had introduced Andy to her. There wasn't anything nice about it, it was a ridiculing laugh, "Another job, Paris this time."

"Liar", she spat looking directly at him. For a second he paused his movement, and just looked at the floor, as if wondering what to do now that he'd been caught. But the uneasiness he had shown only lasted a few seconds before he shook his head, and pulled a clean t-shirt over his head.

"What's it to you Claire?" again he bared no emotion of any kind, maybe just annoyance with her inquiries. She guessed she could see his point. She had let herself into his apartment, with out his permission and snooped, but she couldn't help it, he wasn't letting her in. she had a right to snoop, didn't she?

"I heard your messages, Peter. Your agent is looking for you too. You didn't go to the job in Paris, or Milan, so again I'm asking…where have you been?"

It had taken all of her guts to stand up to him like that. It wasn't the same peter she had known four years ago, so everything she said had to be with caution, never knowing how he might take anything.

There was a moment when she thought he would fall t his knees and cry because his eyes were glossy and he was swallowing as his nose flared a little. But then she saw that it was just to calm himself, because he wasn't about to cry, not in front of her anyway, "Why were you listening to my messages?"

Claire swallowed and croaked a bit before responding, "I was-worried, and you hadn't gone to see me."

He smirked, and scoffed, "Why would I go see you? You're just my _niece_."

The black under his eyes, and the emptiness stuck out now more than ever. He was dying with everyday that was passing, and Claire knew why, had been told why, but he would never admit it, he would never say it to her face.

She wouldn't take what he said personally, he didn't really mean it, it was someone else talking not him. The real peter she knew still existed somewhere inside him would never hurt her like that.

"Peter why won't you just stop? Just stop doing d-"

Peter hit his head with his hands and growled, "Leave me the fuck alone Claire, get out! I don't need any fucking sermons from you too! I don't need you! I don't want you here!"

Claire whimpered, and let some tears fall, but still kept grounded to her spot, "Look what its done to you, let me help you-"

Peter flared his nose and slid past Claire grabbing his jacket, "Fine if you wont leave, I will."

Even though her eyes were closed, she could tell the moment he had left the apartment, because the mood had been lifted, and her arms weren't as heavy as they had been before. Everything felt better once he was gone, but Claire didn't, she didn't like feeling better, not if it meant that he wasn't there.

By now she knew it wasn't her responsibility, like he had said, she was just his niece. But it still felt like it was her fault. If he had known that she had survived that fire from the beginning, he would never have turned the way he had. He would still be her Peter, her hero, and carry that crooked grin with his empathy.


	8. Engagement?

**_I'm not sure if I explained this to you guys before, but I had a skeleton of BoBN written in my head. This was the scene I was going to originally use when Peter went to rehab. In BoBN he does go to rehab, but we never really have any scenes of him in there. This is a scene between Peter and Claire. _**

**_In this version that I had originally for BOBN, Claire was going to get engaged to Andy- I wasn't going to make him gay. and here, Claire mentions that to Peter. Read on..._**

* * *

"So how are you?" Claire asked attentively, while chewing on her bottom lip, trying to meet his eyes, but failing.

She couldn't help it. It was uncomfortable to look at her uncle while he sat there on the bench next to her, in rehab. Five years ago, she would have called the person crazy who said he'd end up like this. Who ever knew Peter back when he was just a guy trying to save the world, would have said that they were delusional, but not now. Now that silly assumption was a reality.

He shrugged his shoulders and took a puff from his cigarette, letting the smoke out through one side of his mouth, "Ok I guess"

Nothing with him looked ok though, he still had this gray look to him, and he was completely hollowed out, he even looked a little miserable. But there was one difference, his _eyes_. They didn't have that veil any longer, they weren't glossy or dead, but alive and full of feeling for once. That was more than Claire could ask for, because it was a small sign that the Peter she'd known, was still in there.

"Andy says hi", she whispered looking up at him, only to notice his eyes had never left her. It didn't make her uncomfortable when he looked at her like that, as if he could read everything she was thinking, although she knew he couldn't, at least not anymore-but his look was still intense. And slowly, Claire was realizing just how much she'd missed that stare of his, "He proposed you know."

Peter nodded his head slowly, not faltering or taking his eyes off her, "I know."

The air had become windy and Claire pulled her sweater around herself tighter, immersed in their peaceful silence. She'd hoped that Peter would have said something, she wasn't sure what he wanted him to say, maybe just not to go through with it. That she was only 21, and still had a long time before she should even think of getting married, but he didn't.

All he did was take another drag from his cigarette before dropping it and nodding to the door, "If you're cold we can go inside."

She was cold, and the warmness from inside certainly sounded nice, but she didn't want to have to share him quite yet. Claire wanted to enjoy what little time she had with Peter, before Heidi, and Nathan took him away from her and bombarded him with questions of how his treatment was going.

Looking back, she saw that they were all laughing and talking with his counselor, not really taking notice of them. It was funny how oblivious they could all be, and she shook her head, fighting not to bite down on her lip again, "No, I'm fine."

If their feelings could talk Claire knew that hers would have been confessing her incestuous feelings for him. not that she wanted them to be revealed, she couldn't imagine what he'd say if he knew how she felt.


	9. Last scene & read on

**_Here you guys go! This is the last alternate scene that I was going to use! It was supposed to be somewhere in the middle, and then Peter was going to stop the wedding. Enjoy!_**

**_Oh and there's a another surprise if you scroll down...._**

* * *

The dress was pearl, and had the intricate buttons down the back that she had always dreamt of having. It was all perfect, down to the very last detail, but it was suffocating. It wasn't the dress, it was just everything in general. She couldn't get her finger around the fact that the wedding was actually happening, that she was really finally getting married to Andy.

Claire swallowed as she stared at herself in the long mirror inside her dressing room, trying on her dress for the last time. Now that she was there and had Peter waiting outside, she wasn't so sure she wanted to show it to him, she thought maybe it would help release the feeling she had, but it just began to stick with her more.

She trembled as she turned the knob to open the door. From the open creek she could see him sitting down on a fluffed out seat staring at the floor with his head resting on his hand. As she stepped out of the room, he took no notice that she was out, and she kept walking forward until the sales girl that had helped her before spotted her and clasped her hands together, getting Peter's attention.

There were a few seconds were he frowned and his brow furrowed, outlining the vague lines on his forehead, but he recovered and smiled, standing up slowly to take her all in. he opened his mouth, and Claire was eager to know what he was thinking, or what he thought of her dress. It was difficult for her to explain it, but it all came down to what he thought, it always had.

"Oh darling, you look beautiful!" exclaimed the sales girl, examining her in a circle.

Claire smiled, and turned back to Peter, awaiting what he had to say because her heart was racing, and she just had to know what he thought of her, and her wedding gown.

"You look-gorgeous", he finally managed to breathe out softly, as in a trance. The dress clung to her body, tightly with a long mermaid tail and lace on her back.

Peter stepped forward about to say something else, but the sales girl put up her hand almost immediately, "Now, don't you two know that it's bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the actual wedding?". she had her hands on her hips and was looking at them incredulously, as if they had just committed a serious crime.

To this Claire stayed put, not sure of what to say, or not say to make the situation less awkward. She couldn't help at feel that it was a compliment, what girl wouldn't want people to think that Peter was her fiancé?

"Then I guess it's a good idea that he's not here", Peter smiled looking from Claire to the salesgirl, with his hands dug deep into his pockets. He winked at Claire and tried to hide the awkwardness that he too felt, but it only made Claire's cheeks grow pink and blush. There was nothing she was more thankful for at that moment than him not being able to read her mind.

Sure she missed the days when he could be her hero, but him not having his powers also had its advantages. For one he never knew what she was thinking anymore, which was good, because her thoughts weren't that holy.

* * *

Preview of _"The Funeral"_

_"I'll be right back, don't move, OK?"_

_I smiled at her. I didn't say I wouldn't move- but I knew I would. If she was doing, what I thought she was doing- I couldn't stay. I was already crossing a line by appearing at all. Charles had warned me how I'd get in trouble and delay my inevitable transfer, but I had to communicate with her, if only for one last time. _

_Her eyes were so bright, and beautiful, why hadn't I ever said anything before? There were millions of things I wanted to say to her- to tell her how I would always love her- and how I would have never opposed to our own Reneeseme, had I known she wanted one._

_In a way, that only she could do, she bounced off, and out of her room. I sat against her bed, revelling in the comfort of it, happy that I could be next to her at all. _

_"She's going to go tell them", Charles appeared next to the bed, with concern etched on his face. _

_I felt myself dematerialize, "Buzz killer."...._


End file.
